AM I IN LOVE

“How do I know when I’m really in love?”
“What does it mean to be in love?”
“I think I’m in love, but then I have doubts. If I have doubts, does that mean I’m not in love?”
“I feel in love, but why is this sometimes so hard?”
“I feel in love, but I’ve felt this way before and it didn’t work out. How do I know?
Such a big question! And we all wish there was an easy answer — a formula we could follow to determine if we are in love.
I don’t exactly have a formula for you, but I do have a list of things to watch for that may be of help to you.
Before I get into what determines whether or not you are in love, let’s differentiate between being in love and being infatuated.
Infatuation:
Being infatuated comes from a completely different place within than being in love. Being infatuated comes from the same place as other addictions — from the ego-wounded self. The ego-wounded self is needy and empty within, and wants to get filled externally by another through sex, attention and approval. When infatuated, you experience the kind of euphoria that you might experience with a recreational drug. There is an intensity of sexual lust and a sense of urgency to be with the other person. Unless love enters the experience, it is short-lived.
You are in your wounded self, feeling needy and empty, when you are rejecting and abandoning yourself — looking for another to care for you. Your self-rejection/self-abandonment is what creates the inner neediness and emptiness that leads to the urgency — and sometimes desperation — of infatuation.
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